Let go of your grudge for better health 
To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible -- and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health. 

"People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good (HarperCollins, 2002). "So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital." 

So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps: 

Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. "Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love," Luskin says. 

Don't wait for an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing," Luskin says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time." Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action. 

Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Luskin says. 

Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear -- even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view. 

Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns. 

Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Luskin says. "But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don''t do it." 

Source: rdasia.com

1. Clear clutter
Oftentimes, chronic stress and indecision go hand in hand. What's the connection with clutter? People who accumulate clutter tend to have trouble deciding what to do with their stuff (“I'll keep this catalogue/insurance form/magazine article until I can find the time to deal with it”). In one study, when compulsive hoarders and nonhoarders were asked to make decisions about whether to keep or discard an item, MRI scans showed much more activity in brain areas that regulate decision making, attention, and controlling emotions in the hoarders. In other words, they had a much harder time deciding.

Keep a handle on your clutter and you'll likely discover a greater sense of control over your life. Conquering clutter is a constant battle with no finish line-you must continue to make those decisions, and not put them off, if you want to stay on top of things. Make it easier by getting rid of stuff you don't need. 

2. Learn to focus and calm your thoughts
To quiet down the chatter in your mind, simply close your eyes and focus on your breath, “watching” it flow in and out of your nostrils. If thoughts pop up about the groceries, the bills, or the state of the economy, notice them and then redirect your attention to your breath. Keep doing this for 5 minutes. At first you might spend 20 seconds truly focused on your breath and 4 minutes and 40 seconds redirecting your thoughts away from your worries, but that ratio should improve with practice. This little 5-minute exercise-which, by the way, is mediation, though you don't have to think of it that way-has been shown to lower heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, anxiety, pain, insomnia, and the production of cortisol-pretty much a one-stop shop for stress reduction. 


3. Listen to hypnosis CDs.
Hypnosis may sound like quack medicine, but some research shows that it can be tremendously useful. One Yale University study found that hypnosis cut presurgery anxiety in patients entering the operating room by more than half. Other research suggests that hypnosis may be even more helpful at relieving anxiety than cognitive behavioral therapy. To find a licensed psychologist certified in hypnosis, ask your family doctor or your regular psychologist for a referral. Be sure to discuss the different methods of hypnosis available, and which may be best for you. You might also consider investing in a hypnosis CD that your psychologist recommends. 


4. Keep a gratitude journal.
If your worry book is a strictly functional memo pad, make your gratitude journal a beautiful, hardbound book with luscious paper-an object you love to look at and feel in your hands. Write in this journal for 5 minutes a day, jotting down the top three things you are grateful for that day. Make them detailed and specific. Instead of writing “I'm grateful for my family,” write “I'm grateful that my granddaughters came for dinner tonight. I love to watch them learn how to use proper manners. I'm grateful they live nearby so I can watch them grow up.” Over time, doing this routinely will help you start to notice the beauty and grace of each day as it happens. 

Life gets better when you adopt a gratitude attitude 

On day one of my self-proclaimed Month of Gratitude, my five-year-old son woke up “bored” at 5:15 a.m., I spied a speeding ticket in my wife’s purse, and our water heater sputtered to its death as I was getting into the shower. Ordinarily, I would have started grousing and the day would’ve been off to an ugly start. But this day was different. How cute my child’s dimples are even at this ungodly hour. How fetching my wife’s taste for adventure. Only 29 days to go.

Just a week earlier, as I struggled with the feeling that I’d been put on this earth to load and unload the dishwasher, I’d decided it was time to end my reflexive complaining. But it wasn’t simply the little things that were gnawing at me. All of a sudden, my friends were dealing with bad news—cancer diagnoses, divorce, job loss. Shouldn’t I be celebrating my relative good fortune?

I’d heard about the feel-good benefits of a gratitude attitude. What was less clear was how to move from griping to gushing. Hoping for tips, I called Robert A. Emmons, a professor at the University of California, Davis, who pioneered research on the benefits of positive thinking. Emmons quoted new studies that indicated that even pretending to be thankful raises levels of the chemicals associated with pleasure and contentment: serotonin and dopamine. Live as if you feel gratitude, he said, and soon the real thing will come.

He recommended keeping a log of everything I’m grateful for in a given week or month. One major study showed that people who wrote down what they are grateful for felt 25 percent happier after ten weeks than those who did not. They even felt better about their jobs and exercised an hour and a half more per week.

I was sold, but my first attempts at keeping a gratitude list were pretty weak: 1. Coffee. 2. Naps. 3. Caffeine in general. As my list grew, I found more uplift: 114. Freshly picked blueberries. 115. The Beatles’ White Album. 116. That I’m not bald.

By day three, I was on a tear, thanking every grocery bagger and parent on the playground like I’d just won an Oscar and hanging Post-it notes to remind myself of the next day’s thank-you targets: the mailman, my son Sebastian’s pre-K teacher. But soon, the full-on approach started to burn me out. Researchers call it the Pledge of Allegiance effect. “If you overdo gratitude, it loses its meaning or, worse, becomes a chore,” Martin E. P. Seligman, the author of Authentic Happiness, told me when I mentioned my slump. Be selective, he advised, and focus on thanking the unsung heroes in your life.

Then Seligman suggested a “gratitude visit.” Think of a person who has made a major difference in your life and whom you’ve never properly thanked. Compose a detailed letter to him or her that expresses your appreciation in concrete terms, then read it aloud, face-to-face. “It’s very moving for the giver and the receiver,” Seligman told me. “Be prepared for tears.”
I immediately flashed on Miss Riggi, my eighth-grade English teacher. She was the first one to open my eyes to Hemingway, Faulkner, and other literary giants. She was the first to encourage me to write. To this day, I am guided by her advice (“Never be boring”). But had I ever thanked her? Had anyone? I made some quick calls and discovered she was still teaching in the same school district, after nearly 40 years. I booked plane tickets to my hometown, Scranton, Pennsylvania, for Sebastian and me.